My Son Doesn't Want My Scrapbooks!

READER QUESTION:

Maria, I'm so glad your daughter loves your scrapbooks. Your 'Little Gym' layout is so cute!

I need your advice. I have made quite a few scrapbooks over the years. Probably two shelves on one large bookcase are housing scrapbooks.

Now my 12-year-old son, my only child, says he really doesn't want to haul scrapbooks around after I'm gone and 'couldn't you just put all the photos on a thumb drive and hand it to me, Mom?'

Well, needless to say, that sort of took the wind out of my scrapbooking sails!

I don't know what to do. Try electronic scrapbooking? Just give it up and save the photos on CDs? I really enjoyed this hobby for years, but it is taking up a LOT of room.

Your thoughts? Thanks!

Kathy

RESPONSE:

Kathy, Don't give up! There are precious memories in both the photos AND the scrapbooks you put together with your own hands and creative imagination. These are an important part of your heritage.

You can certainly take photos of your scrapbook layouts, or the actual photos alone, and put those on an electronic storage device for your son if he wishes. But, as you likely already know, kids change their minds all the time. What your son feels now at the age of 12, could be completely different by the time he's 20 or even 30. He may decide he wants those scrapbooks later.

If he marries when he's older, it is highly likely his wife, kids or grandkids would love the actual scrapbooks. Oh, if I could only have more photos of my parents and grandparents, how overjoyed I would be...and my husband feels the same way about his family members (guy perspective)!

I know they take up lots of room, but if you hold your scrapbooks dear to your heart, I would recommend you keep them forever...or until one of your loved ones requests them. These are treasures you can never replace.

Do you try digital scrapbooking now? Why not? Then, you'll have a great collection of both hard copy, and digital!

Comments

[Rozanne Paxman]

Oh gosh... I couldn't help but feel bad about this one and I had to post. Really... please believe me about this... As the mother of three adult sons, I have to tell you that there is nothing as unreliable as a teenage boy and the things they will tell their monthers. They get slightly better as young adults - but not much.

Wait until he is older... and married... with a wife... and children.

THEY will be thrilled that you have scrapbooked and your son will be too.

Kids this age can't see past next week.

Bless your heart!

But that advice about the digital scrapbooking might be something to check into. I have shelves of paper scrapbooks I completed over a long time. Then I moved to digital in 2004. It is far more compact and I love that my files are backed up on online storage ( use Carbonite), as well, so even if there was a local disaster (such as earthquake or house fire), I would have them.

Keep scrapping if you love it!

[Susan Munro]

Your scrapbooks are your Heritage and someone will be pleased in the future to see photos with meanings! Don't stop, but if you find the mountain growing too much, why not do some for friends and relatives to give as Christmas and Birthday presents? You will have the pleasure of making them, they will have the pleasure of looking at them and it will save you from buying another present so will save you money in the long run! Sue

[Paige]

I used to paper scrapbook and I recently converted to digital and I am in love. It is great. No mess and I can share my pages very easily. If she wants to convert her older scrapbooks to digital she can take them to kinkos or somewhere with a 12x12 scanner to see how much it would be to scan the pages in. If she did it little by little it night not cost a lot and then she can have the pages saved digitally while keeping the regular books for herself. Again, the nice thing about digital is that anyone can have a copy and it's no extra work for you. I keep all my pages on a CD and then I printed out hard copies for myself and also books for the grandparents. No extra work and everyone is happy.

[Antonia Betrus]

I can relate to Kathy's problem. I invested thousands of dollars into cross stitch and have tons of completed projects framed and unframed. Both my son's felt the same way about my hobby. Sadly, even though they are adults in serious relationships, even their girlfriends don't have an appreciation for my craft. It was more than a hobby..I did a lot of meditating and praying to those projects.

On top of that, recent natural disasters have me questioning my attachment to "things" in general.

I agree with Maria. Hang onto them to your finished albums. Once kids become parents, their
perspective changes.

[joy]

Keep them!
They will be appreciated in the future and will provide lots of info on the family.
As Maria said the future grandchildren will be rapt and your son too will enjoy them when he is older (and has more life experience)
Good luck

[Paige]

I love scrapbooking as well. I would be devistated if my child came to me and said such a thing. Just remember that kids will be kids. Although they may take up a lot of space, they do contain precious memories that cannot be replaced. They are revisited each time you open the books and flip through the pages.

I would love it if my mother had made something...anything for me! A scrapbook would have been awesome! With only having a few pictures of me as a child, I cannot imagine having a scrapbook full of memories. Your son will probably change his mind. I'm sure he will cherish them after he matures and his significant other will rave about the books! Hang on to them in there current condition. Who knows what software or digital devices we will have in the future. Imagine those with their photos on those floppys!! Nothing is better than a hard copy!

[Paula]

I agree that you should not throw away your scrapbooks although you should be doing them for yourself and not for future generations. Like your son, I would not want to inherit bookcases full of scrapbooks either. Maybe a few would be fine. There are more compact ways of storing photos. I am a knitter and do not expect my children to keep every single thing I have made. It is just a matter of your expectations. Tell your son that you respect his feelings but you enjoy this hobby and will continue with it for now.

[Kerri]

Your comments about the scrapbooks were right on! The boy will soon be a man who will appreciate the scapbooks more than she knows. The trend is definitely going digital, whether we like it or not. Try StoryBook Creator 2.0, it is a free digital scrapbooking download on the Creative Memories website. There is no obligation to buy, but it is fun to try!

[Sharon]

I used to do traditional scrapbooking but recently discovered digital scrapbookiing and it works so much better for me. It is faster, no more supplies to keep us with. When I finish my storybook, I upload it to the scrapbooking company and they send me back my pages in a hardback, bound book. I'm still able to be creative but my books now take up much less room on my bookshelf.

[Karin Dent]

Not only do I have many scrapbooks, I've been teaching this skill for 15 years.
I also have a son who isn't interested in "the many" - and it did hurt my feelings.

I realize now, and often direct clients to think, "less is more"
One, two or (at the most)three great scrapbooks with your favorite pictures, memories and words of love and affirmation are enough to give to any child.
Keep the scrapbooks you have and enjoy them yourself. Store them.

At some point, you may want to pull the best of the best for one great album for your son...or it may not be necessary. Maybe he will change, maybe not. Relax. Change your energy.

You are a wonderful mother and you give great gifts of love - whether it is appreciated right now or not.
Frankly, I wish I hadn't listened to most of what my children said between the ages of 12 and maybe, 17. The only constant at those ages is continuous change!

[Jerri]

Maria is right. I think it's very typical for 12 year old boys not to care about photos and keepsakes and scrapbooks. But when your son gets to be 30 or 40 years old, he'll appreciate not only looking back on the photos and the memories but he'll appreciate the time and effort you spent creating the scrapbook for him. (In fact, my husband complains that his mom took so many pictures of his older siblings but has very few of him.)

Of course additionally I'd recommend saving the pics on a thumb drive anyway, and you may even want to also try the digital scrapbooking too.

[Heather]

If you're not ready to go digital, but you want a "backup," you might want to check out a company called Heritage Makers (www.heritagemakers.com). (I am not a representative, I've just seen their stuff.) You can have your scrapbook pages scanned and then made into a hardcover picture-book quality book. I believe it is archived and you can make multiple copies if you wish. For something you put so much time and love into, you want to have it safe.

[Jenna]

I love that you have recorded all of these memories! My family is not very interested in my scrapbooks but I love looking at them & remembering the good times we've had as a family.

I would hold on to those precious scrapbooks for dear life!!! I am sure you have put a lot of time & love into making them. When your son is older, maybe he can go through & pick out his favorite 40-50 layouts. This would be two albums or so. You will get to keep the rest. Maybe 12x12 scanners will be cheaper by "then". I made a digital photo book on http://www.blurb.com & the results were gorgeous. You can scan (or digitally create) favorite LOs & have them printed up in a book for him.

[Rhonda]

Don't stop scrapping for your son. I kept everything for my six children. My oldest two are now 30 and 28. A few tears ago I put together a scrapbook of their lives, including old love notes and all kinds of things. I gave it to them for Christmas and they LOVED it. Even my son went home and laid it all out in the floor and shared it all with his twin sons. I got a very big hug alot of thanks and even a few tears. They couldn't believe I kept it all.

[John Trosko]

This is a great conversation. I know scrapbooking is a huge business with a lot of passionate women/mothers doing it. Perhaps the son doesn't like them because the scrapbooks look too childish, too "girly" and not masculine?

I must suggest you create one that closely matches his tastes, and not yours. Something smaller and not these monster 12x12 books. Be it skull and crossbones or whatever floats his boat. Maybe get him involved?

- John

[Shar]

I know & understand the things our children say can sometimes cut us to the quick.

One time while on a field trip my at-the-time 4th grade son was acting a little too crazy and I bent down to whisper in his ear, so no one else could hear, that he should cool his jets. I no sooner uttered the last word when he blurted out very loudly that he HATED me and would not sit with me on the busride back to school.

He is 32 now and tho I know he loves me dearly, when I recall that moment I can feel my heart breaking all over again. Did he mean it? No, of course not. He readily admits that now and is apologetic.

Do what you do because you love your family. IF he grows up and finds merit and value in your "hobby" he'll also see and appreciate the loving, creative, thought that went into all your scrapbook albums. He'll also realize that the albums serve as a sort of geneological record for him and will become invaluable to not only him but his wife & children.

Keep on recording the love of and for your family Dear. Someday, someone will appreciate them as much as you have loved creating them.
God bless!

[Kim]

This is an easy one. My scrapbooking is my hobby - not my childrens. My 11 year old enjoys looking through them as does my 14 yr old daughter and they BOTH show their friends often or we use them for projects in school. Consider this: I have a disclaimer for both my children - if you don't love it or want it - feel free to get rid of it "after I'm gone". I don't want to be saddled with my grandmothers china or my mothers 10,000 pieces of crystal. Neither fit my lifestyle. If might seem more efficient to him but he'll change his mind as often as he changes his clothes - oh yea, my son NEVER wants to change his clothes or changes 8 x a day. Fickle these boys. Keep scrapping because YOU love it. Don't scrap for anyone else. My only nervousness about digital is that there is no testing that CD's or drives will be readable in the future by new technology and I was recently told that even photo CD's are not considered Archival - they may not last more than 5 years. Never rely 100% on digital.

[Kathy]

I made 3 scrapbooks for my son so far and he just turned 20. The first one was his freshman, sophomore & junior years sport activities in high school. I gave it to him for Christmas. He turned a few pages, said, "oh," and went on to the next present. I was devastated! The next scrapbook was the end of his junior year and senior year of sports. Again, I gave it to him for Christmas. He looked through the entire book.
The next one was for graduation and I did one of his entire life! It was 100 pages, but awesome. I gave it to him and he called his friends to come over and look at it! I think he realized all the love and work that went into each one. They are something that I truly think he will cherish more each year.

[Christine]

I have many scrapbooks that I plan on passing onto my daughters. What they do with them once I'm gone, is their business. My only hope is that they know how much love went into them, and how much happiness it brought me making them.